It has been 449 days since I last wrote a blog and a lot has changed. One can assume because of my absence on my blog, COVID changed my plans. I decided that amidst travel restrictions and lockdowns worldwide to go to college instead of taking a gap year (life is weird isn’t it). In May, I finished my freshman year at UW-Madison studying economics and Spanish with a minor in developmental economics. And now I’ve been in Medellin, Colombia for the past 2 weeks working at Ciudad Refugio which is a men’s and women’s drug rehab center, a homeless shelter, and has an incredible kids and family program. 

Ive learned a lot since coming here, one big lesson I have learned is that there is so much privilege that comes with living in the states that is easy to brush past. I know the language, I look like everyone around me, there is AC, and there’s hot showers. I was comfortable, maybe even too comfortable. I had a set routine, where I liked to get coffee, my favorite yoga studio, and even my favorite path for a nightly walk with my roommates. There wasn’t much variability to my life, and it was rather mundane. I stayed comfortable because it was what I knew. 

Since coming here I’ve questioned the value of comfortably, and if it’s really what us as humans are called to seek after. One of my favorite YouTube channels, “Yes Theory,” has a slogan “Seek Discomfort” and it is something I have had to embrace since coming to Colombia. Nothing here is comfortable. Having blonde hair invites strangers to openly stare at you while walking down the street, I am new to the culture, and I haven’t taken a hot shower in so long I have forgotten what it feels like. I’m always uncomfortable. 

One of the biggest discomforts I’ve had to embrace is speaking Spanish. Yes, Spanish is my major, and yes, that might imply that I’m fluent, but unfortunately that is not the case for me (right now at least). Before coming here I was confident that I could hold a conversation if someone speaks slowly and uses elementary vocabulary. Very shortly after arriving I realized that I was not going to be able to stay in my bubble of Spanish 203 and I was going to have to engage in conversations that I have absolutely no idea what is happening. Walking up to someone and starting a conversation in Spanish the first time is absolutely terrifying. But with practice and many (I mean many) failures you learn to embrace the awkwardness and discomfort because there is so much good that comes out of a good connection and conversation. 

And that’s not to say it’s all been fine and dandy speaking Spanish. I’ve walked into coffee shops and had the employees entergetically explain different types of coffees to me and I’ve just smiled and said “Sí” or “Gracias” because i have no coffee vocabulary other than “latte frío con vainilla por favor.” Ive also sat through Bible study’s with women in the program here and have had no idea what they’re talking about. There was one morning where we read through Exodus 29 in Spanish, which is a lengthy chapter about sacrificing animals, yet another area where I have no knowledge on the Spanish vocabulary. 

However, through this discomfort, I have found an immense sense of growth within myself. I’ve had to learn that it is ok to not know what someone is saying and just smile, laugh, and say “no entiendo, lo siento.” I’ve learned the power of a smile and a laugh and that people appreciate that you are simply trying to speak Spanish instead of just not talking. Most importantly I’ve learned that you are never the best version of yourself when you remain complacent in your day to day life. You have to learn to constantly deny your self and ego in order to embrace the path that is set out for you. Stepping out of your comfort zone may seem uncomfortable at first, but let me tell you, once you start it becomes exhilarating and you never want to stop. 

I got so comfortable with being uncomfortable that I jumped off a mountain and went paragliding, and I’m TERRIFIED of heights. It just goes to show that anything is possible if you’re willing to embrace your fears and channel it for good. 

Proverbs 3:5-7 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”